Engaged and getting shipped as a PJ Candidate.

Tdavid37

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Nov 12, 2018
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I know that relationships are strongly discouraged for someone that is focused on going into Special Operations. I am currently in the PJ Candidate program and I am supposed to be shipped for Basic Jan 6th to begin the pipeline. I am engaged and it is what it is she supports me through my decision and realizes how difficult it will be, I have not tried to sugar coat it in any way. I am curious as to if there are any opportunities to have a quick marriage during the pipeline so that we can have on-base housing in New Mexico at Kirtland or what my options might be. Anyone with any experience or knowledge on this?
 

medicchick

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You might want to start with an intro thread and the search button. I seem to remember this question being asked a year or so ago by someone else. If you don't find anything try posting in the proper section, this is for site bugs...
 

Ooh-Rah

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@Tdavid37

Take some time and read the board, if you had you would know:

- need to post an intro before any other posts
- this area is for forum tech help

Locking this thread and and moving to the PJ area. Will reopen after you have posted an intro.
 

Diamondback 2/2

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Not a PJ, but as someone who married my first wife in a hurry, to end up divorced after a 20 month deployment. I would advise you to wait, get set in your career and revisit the idea when you have had some time in your unit, know your family support system, know how you like your new job, etc, etc.

Marriage is tuff, especially when you are young, overwhelming at times when things go bad and you are thousands of miles away, can do nothing but say I'm sorry I wish I could be there. It's very hard on you, extremely hard on them, and when your head needs to be in the game 100% because others are counting on you, it can have extreme effects on both your job and your personal life.

I'm not saying it cannot be done, just that you should know it's overwhelming at times and will stress you, your future wife, family, and the people you work with to the limits.

An old man once told me, service members should wait until they have finished an enlistment and made E5 before considering marriage while in the military. I didn't heed his advice and it cost me dearly both emotionally and financially in the long run. That old man was my ex-father in law.

I know this isn't what you posted to read in reply, but I'd be doing you a disservice if I didn't tell you the truth...okay, enough showing my gray hairs.

Good luck to you with your relationship and military endeavors.
 

Cookie_

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Dec 19, 2017
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I know that relationships are strongly discouraged for someone that is focused on going into Special Operations. I am currently in the PJ Candidate program and I am supposed to be shipped for Basic Jan 6th to begin the pipeline. I am engaged and it is what it is she supports me through my decision and realizes how difficult it will be, I have not tried to sugar coat it in any way. I am curious as to if there are any opportunities to have a quick marriage during the pipeline so that we can have on-base housing in New Mexico at Kirtland or what my options might be. Anyone with any experience or knowledge on this?

The text I bolded really made my NCO senses tingle. This isn't personal towards you or your relationship, but just based in experience.
I've had many a private (and a number of friends) get married prior to training/deployments/PCSing, and it's not always a good call.

I think @Diamondback 2/2 laid out a pretty good firsthand account of why waiting may be a good option.
 

DA SWO

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I know that relationships are strongly discouraged for someone that is focused on going into Special Operations. I am currently in the PJ Candidate program and I am supposed to be shipped for Basic Jan 6th to begin the pipeline. I am engaged and it is what it is she supports me through my decision and realizes how difficult it will be, I have not tried to sugar coat it in any way. I am curious as to if there are any opportunities to have a quick marriage during the pipeline so that we can have on-base housing in New Mexico at Kirtland or what my options might be. Anyone with any experience or knowledge on this?

Wait until you get to Kirtland before thinking about getting married.

You have a long hard road before showing up in New Mexico.
BMT (not hard)
BA Prep (or what ever the new name is) is challenging physically and mentally.
Indoc (if it still exists) is a ball buster.
Dive, jump and free-fall all waiting to fuck you up.

The academics at KAFB are fire hose moments, and you probably wont have time for newlywed shit (trust me, she WILL demand some of your time).

She'll wait if she truly loves you.
 

amlove21

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@DA SWO laid it out really well.

I don’t have advice for you. I’ll say that if she is the one, being together is enough and you guys need to find what works for you both.

The pipeline is not easy on relationships. Especially new ones.
 
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