Myth Vs Reality

The Hate Ape

MARSOC
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#1
Myth: Knockout punches "wow" the crowd, turn-on the hottest girl at the bar, and you look cool as fuck if your larger aggressor was at fault entirely.

Reality: My hand hurts really bad. The hottest girl at the bar did not give me her number. Wiping my ass left handed and creative workouts are my future.

I won the battle but this guy won the war.

Solution: Solar plexus shots are key - despite whatever ferocity and rage is in your system.
(I made every attempt to de-escalate)
 

Ooh-Rah

Marine
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#2
Come on, man!

So many other techniques you could have used....time to go back and rewatch the great bar-fight documentary, Road House.

 

Agoge

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#3
Brother, no one should be hitting with closed fists anymore! There are way too many other options for that.

Hope the hand gets better!
 

Diamondback 2/2

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#4
This is sad that I'm fixing to type this out.:hmm:

From a dude who has spent over a decade of getting drunk, getting in fights and dealing with bullshit because of it... Stay the fuck out of the bars. It cool every now and again, but brother, you can find women in other places, and it will probably workout better for you. Hell most chicks I've seen over the past few years hardly look up from their phones, and normally only long enough to snap a new selfie.

Dance hall's but drink water, if you don't know how to dance take lessons (most dance halls do them cheap and or for free, and guess what you will be meeting and dancing with, chicks out looking for a dude).

If you are religious, church groups and outings. You would be surprised.

Join a pool or dart league, drink water.

Friends of friends, barbecue with the buddies and have whoever has a chick bring her friends.

That all said, and off my don't be like me soapbox. I don't know if you listen to country, but a similar situation happened where I was left explaining a broken hand to my NCOIC back in 2006. He went to lunch and came back with a CD handed it to me and said listen to this.


Like the badass I thought I was I listened, laughed and went to the bar that night. Never really gave it much thought. Took a few years for it to start to sink in, but it is now, 11 years later, a shitload of fights, cuts bruises and thousands of dollars in wasted money. :wall:

Anyway, hope your hand feels better!:thumbsup:
 
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Ooh-Rah

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#6
Bar stories always remind me of something I witnessed about 20 years ago. Deer hunting with my dad there was a 'bar' smack dab in the middle of the woods; dad and I would go there after hunting for beer and burgers. On this particular evening there were 3 HUGE lumberjack looking dudes sitting at the bar. They were facing outboard, watching the bar, minding their own business, just sipping beer.

This very drunk little guy (the top of his head probably was chest high on these dudes) comes up to one of them and says, "Hey! You're a pretty big guy. I bet I can kick your ass!".

Lumberjack dude is so cool he does not even put his beer down, he simply reaches down with his free hand, wraps it over the top of little-guy's head and says, "Go sit down little man." And then without letting go of his skull, lumberjack rotates littleman 180 degrees and in a surprisingly gentle motion, pushes littleman back towards his table. (where he goes and stays).

That's the story. No fight, but it could have ended very differently if Lumberjack had been in a worse mood. My dad and I decided that Lumberjack must have gotten a nice deer that morning and didn't want to spoil his weekend by fighting. One of the coolest "bar fights" I've ever seen.
 

DocIllinois

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#7
One of my best friends used to be a bar scene hot head. About ten years ago, he and a buddy tangled with two, equally hot head men over a pool cue jab in one of the other men's backs.

A solid first blow to the back of my friend's head knocked him out cold, after which one of the dudes kept pummeling his head with multiple, heavy punches. It was a rural bar with no bouncers, and the bystander effect meant the head shots continued for about 30 seconds before a bar tender stepped in.

My friend now has a small plate in his head and brain damage, with labored speech and frequent loss of short term memory, among other lasting neuro signs and symptoms.


I'm glad to hear that you've clued in to the terrible risk/benefit ratio of this sort of activity.
 

Agoge

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#8
I have gotten to the point today whereas I despise bars because of the "drunks" that go there. Some people simply can't drink and enjoy themselves without acting like apes.
 

Diamondback 2/2

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#10
One of my best friends used to be a bar scene hot head. About ten years ago, he and a buddy tangled with two, equally hot head men over a pool cue jab in one of the other men's backs.

A solid first blow to the back of my friend's head knocked him out cold, after which one of the dudes kept pummeling his head with multiple, heavy punches. It was a rural bar with no bouncers, and the bystander effect meant the head shots continued for about 30 seconds before a bar tender stepped in.

My friend now has a small plate in his head and brain damage, with labored speech and frequent loss of short term memory, among other lasting neuro signs and symptoms.


I'm glad to hear that you've clued in to the terrible risk/benefit ratio of this sort of activity.
Not really a friend but a guy and would run into from time to time had something similar happen, except they monkey stomped his head in the parking lot. He is full on derp now, sadly his buddies still drag him out to the bar every once in awhile.
 

Diamondback 2/2

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#11
I have gotten to the point today whereas I despise bars because of the "drunks" that go there. Some people simply can't drink and enjoy themselves without acting like apes.
Yeah the newer kids are beyond stupid. No fucking manners and almost go out of their way to be rude. Fucking up pool games, spilling over drinks, and the fucking tantrums these grown ass adults throw...I mean it's like a 6 year old in a grown persons body.
 

The Hate Ape

MARSOC
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#13
Very cute (on the apes)

This bar is my only bar in the area that I will attend; exactly right @Diamondback 2/2 on these young fucking shitheads that want to get their rocks off without understanding the consequences.

Spoiler Alert: Do Not Fuck With People.
 

The Hate Ape

MARSOC
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#15
Well are you gonna tell us the fucking story, or what? :D

Me: *Pleasantly drinking & discussing nonsensical topics with a cute blonde among my cute wing-women
Guy: "Hey, what cartel are you with?"
Me: "WTF?... none?"
Guy: "I'm with the Sinaloa Cartel.... *says something in Spanish that sounds angry"
Me: "Sounds great... I'm gonna not talk to you now."
Guy: *more angry Spanish

---- 2 or 3 minutes elapses ----

Friend of Guy: "Hey sorry about my friend, he gets like this when he's drunk"
Me: "Cool, enjoy your night guys"
Guy: "Yeah.... yeah, I get this way (angrily)"
Guy: *More Spanish
Cute Girl: "What the fuck is this guy's problem?"
Friend of Guy: "He's always doing this, just don't fight him man, he fights a lot"
Me: "No problem..."
Guy: (I don't even know wtf he's saying but now he's pointing at me)
Me: (to friend) "Get him TF away from us... we're not leaving just because he's being a douchebag"
Friend of Guy: (starts to say something)
---------- GUY JUMPS OVER FRIEND PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE TWICE ---------------------------

---------- Realizing I'm being attacked, I'm now pissed beyond control and punch him square in the jaw while pushing
through his friend, and two other random guys ----------------------------------------------------------------

Bar makes "oooooh sound"

Bouncer wakes up Guy then grabs him by the throat to take him out of the club
Bouncer: "No cartels are allowed here" (I cracked up laughing)

Really fucking hot girl: "That was the hardest hit I've ever heard"

-- Me and Really hot girl spoke for a while, I didn't get her number... and the cute blonde I was talking to went off never to be found again after seeing me and really hot girl talk for a good while. My hand hurts like a bitch, the X-Ray was just completed though:

No fractures
No breaks
Just disruption in the cartilleage lining or whatnot and some swelling, estimate mostly good by the end of the week and full recovery by 4 or 5 weeks.

Fuck this guy, I hope someone keys his car or some shit today.

-Ape
 

The Hate Ape

MARSOC
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#17
No I'm sure the Sinaloa Cartel maintains a very influential presence in Eastern North Carolina, in a Marine Town, as Active Duty Marines themselves....

I'm glad I didn't kill him, but I'm also glad I got to be the short meatball that chopped down the cherry tree. Hopefully he learns.
 

Agoge

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#18
From the remarks that his friend made to you about that being the way he acts when he is drunk, it sounds as though he isn't a quick learner and may not learn until the end results are far more severe than being knocked out. Unfortunately, many of those types never learn.
 

Teufel

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#20
I was a collegiate boxer. Everyone wants to punch guys in the face bare knuckles until they do it for real. Bar fights are stupid. Every idiot is surrounded by buddies who are waiting to pop you in the back of the head.
 
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