A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.
The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the
wife of a wealthy plantation owner.
Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's Debutante Ball.
I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried
officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance.
They should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an evening of
polite Southern conversation.
They should be excellent dancers, as they will be the escorts of
lovely refined young ladies.
One last point: No Jews please."
Sending a written message by his own yeoman, the captain replied:
Madam, thank you for your invitation.
In order to present the widest possible knowledge base for polite
conversation, I am sending four of my best and most prized officers.
One is a lieutenant commander, and a graduate of Annapolis with an
additional Masters degree from MIT in fluid technologies and ship design.
The second is a Lieutenant, one of our helicopter pilots, and a graduate
of Northwestern University in Chicago, with a BS in Aeronautical Engineering.
His Masters Degree and PhD. In Aeronautical and Mechanical Engineering
are from Texas Tech University and he is also an astronaut candidate.
The third officer is also a lieutenant, with degrees in both computer
systems and information technology from SMU and he is awaiting
notification on his Doctoral Dissertation from Cal Tech.
Finally, the fourth officer, also a lieutenant commander, is our ship's
doctor, with an undergraduate degree from the University of Georgia
and his medical degree is from the University of North Carolina. We are
very proud of him, as he is also a senior fellow in Trauma Surgery at
Upon receiving this letter, Melinda's mother was quite excited and
looked forward to Thursday with pleasure.
Her daughter would be escorted by four handsome naval officers without
peer (and the other women in her social circle would be insanely jealous).
At precisely 8:00 PM on Thursday, Melinda's mother heard a polite rap
at the door which she opened to find, in full dress uniform, four
handsome, smiling black officers.
Her mouth fell open, but pulling herself together, she stammered,
"There must be some mistake."
"No, Madam," said the first officer.
"CaptainGoldbergnever makes mistakes."